Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.
Firstly, we must clarify what loneliness means.
Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless.
That person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young or old. They basically find it very hard to connect with others and experiences emancipation from meaningful relationships.
This is not to be confused with being alone.
Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.
What are the common symptoms of being alone, if you are reading this? I bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.
• You think your problems are so unique that other people do not understand
• As a result, you feel that other people in the world has friends and you don’t
• You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
• You feel that when you do something wrong, you get extremely embarrassed
• When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
• You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
• Feeling shy and scared of others
• Experiencing low self-esteem
• Feeling angry, defensive and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
• Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
• Being convinced there is something wrong with you
• Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
• Losing your capacity to be assertive' feeling "invisible"
• Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
• Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide
More of this Article Can be Found here: http://www.howtodealwithloneliness.com/
February 22, 2011
Use Your Alone Time To Your Advantage
When you are alone the feeling of longing for that someone to fill the void is very real and can be painful. Those feelings can be so intense that it becomes hard to focus on anything else which usually lead to depression. Be depressed no more! Use you alone time to your advantage by taking care of you, becoming a better you. Many times we jump into relationships just to rid ourselves of that lonely feeling only to feel empty inside the relationship. This is because what we really desire is to be whole with self. Once this is accomplished then the appreciation for that special someone grows ten fold.
When those feelings of lonelinees come, and they usually come in full force, try doing something for you. What is it that you would improve within yourself. Is it an anger problem, go take an anger mangement class. Is it a depndency problem, read a book on co-dependency. Is it a confidence/low self esteem problem, get an ebook and study that problem. Working on you during the alone times of life will only make for a better, stronger relationship down the road when your love appear.
When those feelings of lonelinees come, and they usually come in full force, try doing something for you. What is it that you would improve within yourself. Is it an anger problem, go take an anger mangement class. Is it a depndency problem, read a book on co-dependency. Is it a confidence/low self esteem problem, get an ebook and study that problem. Working on you during the alone times of life will only make for a better, stronger relationship down the road when your love appear.
February 20, 2011
Define Your Core Values
Define Your Core Values
Understanding your core values is at the heart of truly knowing your needs. "These are the things about yourself that are not likely to change. They are the tenets you grew up believing and that deep down inside still seem to fit into your life no matter what else changes," says JoAnne White, PhD, a therapist and instructor at Temple University. Indeed, White tells WebMD that no matter how many qualities you put on your list of "must haves," nothing matters quite so much as finding someone who shares your core values. "In the end, they represent who you are and what you need. They are the deal breakers," says White. While core values are different for every person, they often touch on such personal issues as:- The desire to have children
- Religious beliefs
- How you deal with money
- How you make important decisions
- The importance you place on honesty, integrity, fidelity
- Even how you view divorce itself
This post and advice was found here: http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/love-and-dating-what-you-need
February 19, 2011
It Worked For Me!
I posted my most recent article yesterday titled "Another Lonely Weekend". Well my Friday wasn't bad but I did have the blues a bit on Saturday. I took my own advice and you know what, those depressive thoughts that come with being alone at times disappeared. I was like wow, it works and instantly. IF you are feeling the single, divorce, separated or just plain old relationship blues, the first thing to do is SOMETHING.
Do you want to meet that someone who has common interest as yours? What do you like to do? Some like reading, so one idea is to go to the bookstore. Once there your task is to not only shop for books but take a moment to observe all of those people in the bookstore. Guess what? They have a common interest. They like reading books as well. In other words find out what you truly like doing. Do an activity based around what you like to do and without any effort you will be in the company of those just like you. Why waste time on web dating sites only to go through too many crazies to get to the real one, when you can pick a hobby, do that and you will find yourself in the company of a like minded person.
Until next time, please remember YOUR LOVE WILL COME, IT ALWAYS COME, YOUR LOVE WILL COME.
Do you want to meet that someone who has common interest as yours? What do you like to do? Some like reading, so one idea is to go to the bookstore. Once there your task is to not only shop for books but take a moment to observe all of those people in the bookstore. Guess what? They have a common interest. They like reading books as well. In other words find out what you truly like doing. Do an activity based around what you like to do and without any effort you will be in the company of those just like you. Why waste time on web dating sites only to go through too many crazies to get to the real one, when you can pick a hobby, do that and you will find yourself in the company of a like minded person.
Until next time, please remember YOUR LOVE WILL COME, IT ALWAYS COME, YOUR LOVE WILL COME.
February 18, 2011
Another Lonely Weekend Without Love
Another Valentine's Day has come and gone. You have survived the torment of not being with or feeling the love a companionship offers. Some sense of adequacy has returned and then boom, before you know it its Friday night after a long week at work, school or both. The Weekends can be horrible for those us who seek, desire, want and are waiting for the love companionship offers. Dreaming of the day that you will enjoy the feeling of being connected with and belonging to that special someone. Then at the 8pm hour on that Friday night it becomes clear that this will be Another Lonely Weekend Without Love. How do you overcome that terrible feeling?
In previous articles the topics of fear of rejection and overcoming low self esteem was covered. Lonely weekends are fertile soil for those fears and feelings to come into full bloom, adding to the depression loneliness bring. As stated in previous articles the first thing to do is ANYTHING. ACTIONS, SOMETHING, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS DO SOMETHING. Alone time can be used to your advantage, this is the time that you can work on you without destroying a relationship in the process. Do you have negative feelings about your weight? Use your alone time to focus on ways you can improve your weight, I guarantee you just an adjustment of your attention and focus away from being alone to improving those areas of yourself you don't like will erase the lonely blues. Do you have negative feeling about your personal style? Use your alone time to dress yourself up to how you imagine you would want to appear. Maybe it's the fear of striking up that conversation with that someone you have your eyes on. Use your alone time to learn conversation techniques. Even the feelings of never finding quite the right match can be overcome. Study and research on how and what to look for in a mate.
The point of this Article is one do SOMETHING, don't sit around in those sad lonely feelings, this always makes it worse. Secondly, use your alone time to strengthen those areas of yourself you don't like. There are many resources online that can help you with aspects of yourself you desire to change. Using your alone time to improve yourself will not only counteract the depression that comes with loneliness, it will also improve your self esteem. As a result when your love comes they will find a confident mate in you and then you will see that being alone instead of a curse it was your blessing. And always remember your love will come, it always come, your love will come.
In previous articles the topics of fear of rejection and overcoming low self esteem was covered. Lonely weekends are fertile soil for those fears and feelings to come into full bloom, adding to the depression loneliness bring. As stated in previous articles the first thing to do is ANYTHING. ACTIONS, SOMETHING, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS DO SOMETHING. Alone time can be used to your advantage, this is the time that you can work on you without destroying a relationship in the process. Do you have negative feelings about your weight? Use your alone time to focus on ways you can improve your weight, I guarantee you just an adjustment of your attention and focus away from being alone to improving those areas of yourself you don't like will erase the lonely blues. Do you have negative feeling about your personal style? Use your alone time to dress yourself up to how you imagine you would want to appear. Maybe it's the fear of striking up that conversation with that someone you have your eyes on. Use your alone time to learn conversation techniques. Even the feelings of never finding quite the right match can be overcome. Study and research on how and what to look for in a mate.
The point of this Article is one do SOMETHING, don't sit around in those sad lonely feelings, this always makes it worse. Secondly, use your alone time to strengthen those areas of yourself you don't like. There are many resources online that can help you with aspects of yourself you desire to change. Using your alone time to improve yourself will not only counteract the depression that comes with loneliness, it will also improve your self esteem. As a result when your love comes they will find a confident mate in you and then you will see that being alone instead of a curse it was your blessing. And always remember your love will come, it always come, your love will come.
February 6, 2011
How to Overcome Low Self Esteem Today
This is Part 3 of this new series of articles titled "Aquarius Jane". It is the focus on self that leads to a never ending cycle of dissatisfactions and unhappiness. Never forget its not YOU, its really a matter of your perception. The topic is low self esteem. I would love to hear your thoughts or reactions to this article. Don't for get to drop by AquariusJane.blogspot.com, take my poll, post your comments and enjoy your time there.
Low Self Esteem is essentially a negative feeling toward one self. This negative form of thinking is often present at the root of many self centered fears. In part 2 of this series of articles we discussed the issue of rejection. There was also tips left to overcome the fear of rejection. The Fear of Refection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome this fear. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. So what keeps inactive? What keeps us from challenging our fear? It is my view that the main reason we can't find, hold on to, or get back our love the we deserve is the fear of rejection. This keeps us inactive and our fear of rejection continues to grow with every inaction that doesn't directly challenge our perception of rejection, which usually takes place all in the mind. In order to overcome this fear there must be a changing of the self esteem. Low self esteem is the ingredient that prevents us from challenging our fears. Everyone has an area in their life that they are not comfortable with. When it comes to love the area that is most affected is self. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome low self esteem. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. There are countless resources on the internet that can help you. Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. The best act to fight low self esteem is saying to yourself that I am perfectly me, exactly how I was made. Don't' Compare Yourself To Others, low self esteem in many ways originate from unfair comparisons of our insides to the outside of others. Low self esteem tell us we are not good enough, cute enough, strong enough, rich enough. Low self esteem is rarely satisfied with self.
The Fear of Refection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. Low Self Esteem is usually present in a strong degree when confronting the fear of rejection. How to Overcome Low Self Esteem Today? Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. Start to listen to your thoughts and when that I am not good enough thought arises get into action, that is the medicine. The best act to fight low self esteem is saying to yourself that I am perfectly me, exactly how I was made. Go shopping, find your style and be proud of who you are. Self confidence is the number one aspect potential mates seek out within minutes of a introduction. Self confidence is the opposite of low self esteem. Self confidence say I am and I can. Low self esteem says I am not good enough.
dont forget to check out the linked resources and take my poll
Low Self Esteem is essentially a negative feeling toward one self. This negative form of thinking is often present at the root of many self centered fears. In part 2 of this series of articles we discussed the issue of rejection. There was also tips left to overcome the fear of rejection. The Fear of Refection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome this fear. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. So what keeps inactive? What keeps us from challenging our fear? It is my view that the main reason we can't find, hold on to, or get back our love the we deserve is the fear of rejection. This keeps us inactive and our fear of rejection continues to grow with every inaction that doesn't directly challenge our perception of rejection, which usually takes place all in the mind. In order to overcome this fear there must be a changing of the self esteem. Low self esteem is the ingredient that prevents us from challenging our fears. Everyone has an area in their life that they are not comfortable with. When it comes to love the area that is most affected is self. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome low self esteem. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. There are countless resources on the internet that can help you. Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. The best act to fight low self esteem is saying to yourself that I am perfectly me, exactly how I was made. Don't' Compare Yourself To Others, low self esteem in many ways originate from unfair comparisons of our insides to the outside of others. Low self esteem tell us we are not good enough, cute enough, strong enough, rich enough. Low self esteem is rarely satisfied with self.
The Fear of Refection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. Low Self Esteem is usually present in a strong degree when confronting the fear of rejection. How to Overcome Low Self Esteem Today? Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. Start to listen to your thoughts and when that I am not good enough thought arises get into action, that is the medicine. The best act to fight low self esteem is saying to yourself that I am perfectly me, exactly how I was made. Go shopping, find your style and be proud of who you are. Self confidence is the number one aspect potential mates seek out within minutes of a introduction. Self confidence is the opposite of low self esteem. Self confidence say I am and I can. Low self esteem says I am not good enough.
dont forget to check out the linked resources and take my poll
February 5, 2011
HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF REJECTION AND LIVE
This IS Part 2 of a series of articles titled "Aquarius Jane". This series goes into the topic of this thing we call love. Valentines Day 2011 is here upon us and with that day brings to some great happiness, to others great pain. It is the focus on self that leads to a never ending cycle of dissatisfactions and unhappiness. Never forget its not YOU, its really a matter of your perception. In Part2 of this series we are going right to the root of things a discuss the matter of rejection. By the end of the Aquarius Jane series I hope you will feel inspired to find your love. Now to the good stuff, the topic is rejection. I would love to hear your thoughts or reactions to this article. Don't for get to drop by AquariusJane.blogspot.com, take my poll, post your comments and enjoy your time there.
THE INORDINATE FEAR of Rejection is the FEAR of not being accepted. This is a deadly form of self centered fear. To be live in fear of rejection keeps one in a box like existence, never getting what the heart truly desires. The Fear of rejection tells us that if we don't ask we can't be disappointed. I want for you to learn HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF REJECTION AND LIVE. However no matter what that Fear presents through our mind, it is this not asking, not seeking, not risking that feeds a vicious cycle of rejection. We actually invite what we seek to avoid by not challenging those fears and moving in spite of thoughts of rejection. With practice and time you will see in no time it is the assertive act that gets us what we want. Living in fear of rejection leads to a lack of action and nothing can be accomplished by NOT ACTING and that includes finding and holding on to your love. In many of us this fear is deeply ingrained in us. It takes practice and constant reinforcement to change the lack of action cause by the fear of rejection. I highly suggest reading all positive material that will help support you in the defeat of the fear of rejection. Every man has experienced the scenario wherein there is a lovely lady that caught your eye. Within five minutes in her eyes we look like a stalker because we just sit in stair. It is the though of rejection that keeps it at a stare and not a simple "hello" to the lovely lady. Every woman has experienced the feeling wherein she is in the presence of someone who attracts her, but as in the above example no connect is possible because the though of "what if" is there which leads to no action, no hello, no date, no valentine.
The Fear of Rejection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome this fear. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. There are countless resources on the internet that can help you. Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. Start to listen to your thoughts and when that fear of rejection arises get into action, that is the medicine. I challenge you for only two days, speak with a smile to everyone that crosses your path that you are able to smile and say hello to as you go along your day. I guarantee you there will be more returned hello's than rejections. That's what we have to do to overcome this fear, you have to give a little to get a little.
THE INORDINATE FEAR of Rejection is the FEAR of not being accepted. This is a deadly form of self centered fear. To be live in fear of rejection keeps one in a box like existence, never getting what the heart truly desires. The Fear of rejection tells us that if we don't ask we can't be disappointed. I want for you to learn HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF REJECTION AND LIVE. However no matter what that Fear presents through our mind, it is this not asking, not seeking, not risking that feeds a vicious cycle of rejection. We actually invite what we seek to avoid by not challenging those fears and moving in spite of thoughts of rejection. With practice and time you will see in no time it is the assertive act that gets us what we want. Living in fear of rejection leads to a lack of action and nothing can be accomplished by NOT ACTING and that includes finding and holding on to your love. In many of us this fear is deeply ingrained in us. It takes practice and constant reinforcement to change the lack of action cause by the fear of rejection. I highly suggest reading all positive material that will help support you in the defeat of the fear of rejection. Every man has experienced the scenario wherein there is a lovely lady that caught your eye. Within five minutes in her eyes we look like a stalker because we just sit in stair. It is the though of rejection that keeps it at a stare and not a simple "hello" to the lovely lady. Every woman has experienced the feeling wherein she is in the presence of someone who attracts her, but as in the above example no connect is possible because the though of "what if" is there which leads to no action, no hello, no date, no valentine.
The Fear of Rejection can be overcome by forcing yourself into action. It is the lack of action that feeds this fear and keeps going on the inside a vicious cycle of unfulfillment. I encourage you to continue to read on this subject, that will support your efforts to overcome this fear. Remember we are going out there to find our love, repair our love, hold on to our love, or getting our only love back. There are countless resources on the internet that can help you. Its best to do something rather than nothing because doing nothing is the food that feeds loneliness and unhappiness. Start to listen to your thoughts and when that fear of rejection arises get into action, that is the medicine. I challenge you for only two days, speak with a smile to everyone that crosses your path that you are able to smile and say hello to as you go along your day. I guarantee you there will be more returned hello's than rejections. That's what we have to do to overcome this fear, you have to give a little to get a little.
VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALETINE AND ALONE
VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALETINE AND ALONE
This is Part 1 of a new series of articles titled "Aquarius Jane". This series goes into the topic of this thing we call love. Valentines Day 2011 is here upon us and with that day brings to some great happiness, to others great pain. It is an awful feeling to be alone on Valentines Day, whether we claim its not important, too busy, too independent, or just too plain old heart broken. When that clock hits 7 pm on Valentines day and your are alone with no gifts or companion, no stories to tell, now that is the pits. I have been there and I am telling you Not to be in despair if this sounds like you. Tomorrow will be here soon, another day. In the view of one who has experienced real and true love as well as true loneliness, YOU SAVE ALOT MONEY HAVING NO VALENTINE!!! In this series of Articles I hope to encourage you to find the love you deserve, better yet go get your love. If you want a new love go get him or her. If you miss your ex-love go get him or her back. There are no rules that say you can't find, acquire and hold on to that one for you.
A major reason why we get depressed and down in the dumps during periods of loneliness is because we look inward at ourselves. Don't tear yourself down NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MIND TELL YOU. The earth is well over a billion strong. A fantastic fact that we rarely consider is that no matter the looks, color, shaper, size or fashion we humans are surprisingly similar in 80% of our ways and thinking. You will Never find or hold onto your love looking inward. That's obstacle number one. Thank goodness for the information age. Often in life we learn skills we are not born with them. A great place to start would be a good insightful reading that helps you to focus OUTWARD. My blog should be helpful with great resources, you can find that at AquarisJane.blogspot.com.
This series deals with the issue of being alone, lonely, hoping, waiting, wanting and craving to have that one special companion to share life with. The basis for this series is that love in all aspects is an outward expression coming outside of oneself. It is the focus on self that leads to a never ending cycle of dissatisfactions and unhappiness. Never forget its not YOU, its really a matter of your perception. In Part 2 of this series we are going right to the root of things a discuss the matter of rejection. By the end of the Aquarius Jane series I hope you will feel inspired to find your love. You never have to spend another VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALETINE AND ALONE.
This is Part 1 of a new series of articles titled "Aquarius Jane". This series goes into the topic of this thing we call love. Valentines Day 2011 is here upon us and with that day brings to some great happiness, to others great pain. It is an awful feeling to be alone on Valentines Day, whether we claim its not important, too busy, too independent, or just too plain old heart broken. When that clock hits 7 pm on Valentines day and your are alone with no gifts or companion, no stories to tell, now that is the pits. I have been there and I am telling you Not to be in despair if this sounds like you. Tomorrow will be here soon, another day. In the view of one who has experienced real and true love as well as true loneliness, YOU SAVE ALOT MONEY HAVING NO VALENTINE!!! In this series of Articles I hope to encourage you to find the love you deserve, better yet go get your love. If you want a new love go get him or her. If you miss your ex-love go get him or her back. There are no rules that say you can't find, acquire and hold on to that one for you.
A major reason why we get depressed and down in the dumps during periods of loneliness is because we look inward at ourselves. Don't tear yourself down NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MIND TELL YOU. The earth is well over a billion strong. A fantastic fact that we rarely consider is that no matter the looks, color, shaper, size or fashion we humans are surprisingly similar in 80% of our ways and thinking. You will Never find or hold onto your love looking inward. That's obstacle number one. Thank goodness for the information age. Often in life we learn skills we are not born with them. A great place to start would be a good insightful reading that helps you to focus OUTWARD. My blog should be helpful with great resources, you can find that at AquarisJane.blogspot.com.
This series deals with the issue of being alone, lonely, hoping, waiting, wanting and craving to have that one special companion to share life with. The basis for this series is that love in all aspects is an outward expression coming outside of oneself. It is the focus on self that leads to a never ending cycle of dissatisfactions and unhappiness. Never forget its not YOU, its really a matter of your perception. In Part 2 of this series we are going right to the root of things a discuss the matter of rejection. By the end of the Aquarius Jane series I hope you will feel inspired to find your love. You never have to spend another VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT A VALETINE AND ALONE.
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